February 2012
sugoiscalemate:
today i was watching the self scans at work and this guy put 4 muffins from the bakery onto the scale and typed in the code for bananas AS I WATCHED so 4 muffins worth like $5 would have been $0.90 and i just went over and was like ‘sir those are not bananas’ and he was just like ‘lol ur too fast for me’ and i had slightly murderous thoughts as i put the muffins in properly
umm...
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tridentrevolver:
conversationparade:
when people refer to penises as ___________ in...
c-c-chuck:
chlorophyll-bunny:
americankimchi:
chlorophyll-bunny:
penises
cocks
dicks
and other normal words for a penis
meat sticks
wands
slick manhood
throbbing/pulsing member
100% all-beef thermometer
black snake
anal impaler
chode
shaft
sausage
schlong
“thing”
steamin’ semen roadway
skin flute
tube steak
wang
dong
bone
etc.
“steamin’ semen roadway”
...
adriofthedead:
And with “defending the rights of a non-existent, computer generated animal”, I’ve FINALLY filled my Tumblr SJ Bingo Card
guaninecytosine:
ewereka:
guaninecytosine:
i’m quietly sitting in my room
with the door closed
and just saying
“WOOP WOOP WOOP I’M A GOBLIN SHARK”
“WOOP WOOP WOOP I’M A GOBLIN SHAAARK”
Guan…
honey…
I love you.
WOOP WOOP WOOP!!
guaninecytosine:
i’m quietly sitting in my room
with the door closed
and just saying
“WOOP WOOP WOOP I’M A GOBLIN SHARK”
“WOOP WOOP WOOP I’M A GOBLIN SHAAARK”
Guan…
honey…
I love you.
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gaymzee:
she wears short shorts i’m gay she’s cheer captain i’m gay
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A commercial for Arietty came on.
Male character: Can we be friends?
Me: "No. It would never work out between us. I'm smaller than your dick. Look for someone closer to human size."
Brother: That's a key point when I search for a potential partner. Close to human-size.
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Welcome to our Blog.
ask-sherlock-and-john:
Good evening, followers. As I can see from John’s previous posts, we have been assuring you that we will be “opening shortly” for quite some time now. He has asked me to write to all of you, making certain that you were aware that we are not only open, but finally answering questions, as well. In fact, because there is currently absolutely nothing of interest to do in...
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We're too lazy to change the channel.
Character 1: ...your parents...
Character 2: My parents are dead.
Me: (turns to brother and cries out in a Batman voice) MY PARENTS ARE DEAAAAAAD.
Brother: (backhands the cat)
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Anonymous asked: Did you ever find out where the "we're here to take your pikachu" video was from?
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when I’m stressed or sick or really tired or otherwise extremely uncomfortable or unhappy
I let out these really heavy, exasperated sighs, without meaning to and usually without noticing it
but my brother just got snippy with me because I’ve “sighed, like, twenty times in the past five minutes”
and then I feel bad because I really can’t help it
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“And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.”
– a quote every teenage white girl uses after reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower (via mexicanprince)
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awwishfulthinking replied to your post: I hate people who take FOREVER to choose their…
I still have a neopets account though I never played Key Quest. I want to play with you some day! (When I’m not worried about midterms/lab reports)
A-aw, thank you! ;; I only started playing this week, but it’s really good for making NP and stuff. It’s fun. XD
bumblepuppy replied to your post: We should play Key Quest someday!
I’m using a trackpad now so you could definitely win.
Point… however, my computer lags for 3 to 5 seconds, so that puts me at a disadvantage, too. ||D
bumblepuppy asked: We should play Key Quest someday!
nullette asked: what's your favorite scent? (pfff i ask the dumbest questions forgive me)
sowhatelseisblue replied to your post: Would you rather have a cyborg ostrich or a trained crocodile?
Good answer. I’m glad you brought Ninja Nonsense into it. GAAAABORAAAAA
If I can’t bring Ninja Nonsense into it, it’s not worth talking about! :<
nullette asked: what's your favorite color? o:
sowhatelseisblue asked: Would you rather have a cyborg ostrich or a trained crocodile?
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IIIII'm bored and lonely.
And also sickly.
Someone talk to meeee. Ask me anything about anything.
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kaidraws replied to your post: A woman in her mid 40’s to 50’s just sent me a…
chrissake, sounds like someone’s in serious denial.
I’m pretty sure it’s actually her daughter, who is convinced that I’ve been posting her information on 4chan and harassing her since November. Which… I haven’t.
She also told me to grow up and that the message was a warning,...
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A woman in her mid 40’s to 50’s just sent me a message rife with misspellings and grammatical errors telling me to get off the stupid computer and get a life after I sent her a message on November 19 saying that her daughter was threatening to kill herself and others.
C: What a mature adult, telling someone half your age who was trying to keep your asshole of a daughter from killing...
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I'm going to make an Arch for my Front Door on...
scarletspeedsta:
It will say “THIS DOOR SHALL YIELD TO NO COMMAND EXCEPT FOR A SONG FROM A GENUINE BAND!”
Kids will not be getting any Candy from me unless they sing a song that tells a story of the truth
Oh my God I want to do this now.
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me when first playing assassin's creed: "i will be a good sneaky assassin and not run, not go fast on my horse, and not disturb citizens!"
me after thirty minutes of playing assassin's creed: runs everywhere
me: punches beggars
me: tramples over hundreds of innocent people with horse
me: punches more beggars
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Reblog if you like smut.
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pootsy:
drop the bass